At one job I had, the boss man got the idea that the IT
department should be living up to the slogan, "Giving every
user what they need."

I politely requested, "How do we get them to turn around so
we can kick them in the ass?" It went over quite well, the room
fell out laughing. I don't work there any more.




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I was playing in a night club, and getting few requests and small tips. 
Towards the end of the night, a man walked up with a wad of bills in his 
hand and asked me to play a jazz chord. I played an Amaj7. 

He said, "No, no. A jazz chord." 

I did a little improvisational thing, but he didn't like that either. 

"No, no, no! A jazz chord. You know, 'A jazz chord, to say, ah love you.'" 





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When asked by the Pope (I forget which one) what the Catholic Church
could do for music, Igor Stravinsky is reputed to have answered without
hesitation: "Give us back castrati!" 



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