Remember those two of Aberystwyth 
            Who connected the things that they pissed with? 
                She sat on his lap 
                But they both had the clap, 
            And they cursed with the things that they kissed with. 



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1 


There was an old hag named Le Sueur 
            Who just was an out-and-out whore. 
                Between her big tits 
                You could come for two bits, 
            And she'd fuck in any old sewer. 



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2 


There was an old man of Madrid 
            Who went to an auction to bid. 
                In the first lot they sold 
                Was an ancient commode--- 
            And, my God, when they lifted the lid! 



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3 


There was once a sad Maitre d'hotel 
            Who said, "They can all go to hell! 
                What they do to my wife--- 
                Why it ruins my life; 
            And the worst is, they all do it well." 
                                      



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4 


There was a young fellow named Cribbs 
            Whose cock was so big it had ribs. 
                They were inches apart, 
                And to suck, it took art, 
            While to fuck, it took forty-two trips. 



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5