On May Day the girls of Penzance, 
               Being bored by the lack of romance, 
                    Joined the workers' parade 
                    With this banner displayed: 
               "What the Pants of Penzance Need is Ants." 
                                                 



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1 


There once was a horse named Lily 
               Whose dingus was really a dilly. 
                    It was vaganoid duply, 
                    And labial quadruply--- 
               In fact, he was really a filly. 



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2 


A golfer named Sandy MacFarr 
               Went to bed with a Hollywood star 
                    When he first saw her gash he 
                    Cried, "Quick, goot muh mashie! 
               Uh thunk uh c'n muk it in par." 



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3 


There was a brave damsel of Brighton 
               Whom nothing could possibly frighten. 
                    She plunged in the sea 
                    And, with infinite glee, 
               Was fucked in the ass by a Triton



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4 


There was an old man of Decatur, 
               Took out his red-hot pertater. 
                    He tried at her dent, 
                    But when his thing bent, 
               He got down on his knees and he ate 'er. 



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5