There was a young man in Norway, 
               Tried to jerk himself off in a sleigh, 
                    But the air was so frigid 
                    It froze his balls rigid, 
               And all he could come was frappe. 



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1 



               There was a young man of St. Giles 
               Who'd walked thousands and thousands of miles, 
                    From the Cape of Good Hope, 
                    Just to bugger the Pope, 
               But he couldn't---the pontiff had piles. 



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2 




               While spending the winter at Pau 
               Lady Pamela forgot to say "No." 
                    So the head-porter made her 
                    The second-cook laid her; 
               The waiters were all hanging low. 



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3 


There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
He said with a grin
Wiping sperm from his chin
If my ear was a cunt I could Fuck it! 



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4 


There once was a lady from Pinner
Whose boyfriend wanked on her dinner
She said if you please
I don't mind some cream teas
But I like my white sauce a bit thinner 



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5