I'd willingly fertilize Mary, 
               And watch for nine months her shape vary, 
                    From the very first day, 
                    To the child-birth display, 
               When her tits would turn into a dairy. 



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1 



               There was a young man in Woods Hole 
               Who had an affair with a mole. 
                    Though a bit of a nancy 
                    He did like to fancy 
               Himself in a dominant role. 



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2 



               There was a young lady of Andover, 
               And the boys used to ask her to hand over 
                    Her sexual favor, 
                    Which she did (may God save her!) 
               For her morals she had no command over. 



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3 



               The cross-eyed old painter McNeff 
               Was color-blind, palsied, and deaf. 
                    When he asked to be touted 
                    The critics all shouted: 
               "This is art with a capital F!" 



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4 



               There was a young lady named Ransom 
               Who was rogered three times in a hansom. 
                    When she cried out for more 
                    A voice from the floor 
               Said, "My name is Simpson, not Sampson!" 



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5