In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of
   a man's penis was
   larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded
   that the reason the
   head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure
   during sex.
   After the study was published, the University of South Carolina
   decided to do their own
   study. After $250,000.00, and 3 years of research, they concluded that
   the reason was to
   give the woman more pleasure during sex.
   The University of Georgia, unsatisfied with these findings, conducted
   their own study.
   After 2 weeks and a cost of around $75.46, they concluded that it was
   to keep a man's
   hand from flying off and hitting him in the forehead.
   




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1 



   Grandma Saperstein and Grandpa Rabinowitz are sitting on the veranda
   of the old folks
   home rocking back and forth in their rocking chairs. Grandpa
   Rabinowitz rocks forward in
   his chair and says to Grandma, "Fuck you!"
   Grandma Saperstein rocks forward in her chair and says to Grandpa,
   "Fuck you too!"
   Grandpa becomes very much excited and shouts, "Fuck you!" swinging
   more forward
   again.
   Grandma remains graceful but leans forward and says, "Fuck you again."
   This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally Grandpa says, "You know
   something,
   Grandma, this oral sex thing ain't all it's cracked up to be."
   




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2 



   A blind man is standing at the corner with his seeing eye dog waiting
   to cross the street,
   when his pooch lifts his leg and pisses down the side of his nice
   herringbone tweed
   trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and
   retrieves a doggie biscuit
   which he starts to offer to Fido.
   A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this
   happening and
   interrupts, "Excuse me buddy, but are you aware of the fact that your
   dog just pissed all
   down the leg of your pants?"
   "Yes, I'm trying to break him of this dreadful habit", replies the
   blind man.
   "Well, it's none of my business," says the onlooker, "but you're not
   going to teach him
   much by rewarding him with a biscuit!"
   To which the blind fellow chuckles, "Oh I'm not rewarding him. I'm
   just trying to find his
   head so I can kick his ass!"
   




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3 



   There was a large nuclear accident and one of the worlds largest
   cities was totally
   destroyed. There were millions of people dead it was a real tragedy.
   With that many people
   of course things got backed up at the pearly gates, where they have to
   interview everyone.
   The people were lined up for miles. Then at the front of the line a
   large cheer went up, and
   there was much rejoicing. Of course the people at the back of the line
   were curious about
   what was happening. Finally one man stepped out and called toward the
   front of the line,
   "what's going on?" Someone called back "They ain't gonna count
   fucking."
   




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4 


What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20
doesn't?

A belly-button!



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5