Father O'Grady was saying his goodbyes to the parishioners
after his Sunday morning service as he always does when
Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.
"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary.
"Well what is it, Mary?"
"Well, my husband, passed away last night, Father."
"Oh, Mary" said the father, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary,
did he have any last requests?"
"Well, yes he did father," replied Mary.
"What did he ask, Mary?"
Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'" 



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1 


On their wedding night the husband was so self - conscious 
about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he 
snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his 
pants and handed his member to his bride.

"That's thoughtful, darling," she cooed, "but we'll need the light 
if you want to write thank-you notes ."



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2 


Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. 

    Wedding cake! 



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3 


A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when
confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and
kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is
really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

"Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in
the bottoms, and the blondes don't!" 



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4 


A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue
across the street from each other. Since their schedules
intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.
So they did. They drove it home and parked it in the
street between their establishments. 

A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the
priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need
a wash, so he ran out and asked the priest what he was
doing. "I'm blessing it" the priest replied.

The rabbi replied "Oh," then he ran back into the synagogue.
He reappeared a few minutes later with a hack saw, ran to the
car and cut off the last 2 inches of the tailpipe. 



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5