A farmer and his girlfriend were out for a stroll
in the fields when they came across a cow and a
calf rubbing noses.

"Boy," said the farmer, "that sure makes me want to
do the same."

"Well, go ahead," said his girlfriend. "It's your cow." 



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1 



What is the most insensitive part of a penis? 

    - The man 



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2 


An elderly couple, living apart, had been dating
for several years. One day Elmer said to Betsy,
"We should stop this nonsense. We are paying two
rents, two car insurance payments, buying separate
food and cooking separate meals. We should just
move in together. 

Betsy: Whose house would we live in? 
Elmer: Mine, it is already paid for. 
Betsy: Whose car would we keep and pay insurance on? 
Elmer: Yours, it is newer and runs better than mine. 
Betsy: Who would do the cooking? 
Elmer: You cook and I'll do the dishes. 
Betsy: What about sex? 
Elmer: Infrequently. 
Betsy: Is that one word or two?



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3 


A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said,
"Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad
news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good
news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain
transplants and there has been an accident right out front
and a young couple was killed and you can have whichever
brain you'd like. The man's brain costs $100,000.00 and the
woman's brain costs "30,000.00." 

The patient could not help but ask, "Why such a large
difference between the male and the female brain?" 

The doctor replied, "The female brain is used." 



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Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want 
ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very 
nervous man who ran a small business that he had started 
himself.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said. 
"But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for 
me."

"Excuse me?" the accountant said.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want 
to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the 
money worries off my back."

"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job 
pay?"

"I'll start you at eighty thousand."

"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How 
can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."



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5