A woman walks into a hardware store and says "I want to buy a hinge." The clerk says "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?" The woman says, "No, but I'll blow you for the toaster." Send this joke to a friend 1 A man walks in to a doctors office and says, "Doctor you must help me. I have AIDS." The doctor replies, "Are you gay?" The man answers "yes." The doctor says, "I think I can help. Go to the grocery store, buy a box of laxatives and a quart of prune juice.Take ALL of the laxatives and drink ALL of the prune juice. Take a nap for a couple of hours. When you wake up your problem will be solved." The man answers, "Will that cure my AIDS?" The doctor replies, "No, but you will find out what your ass hole is really for!" Send this joke to a friend 2 A farmer and his wife were laying in bed one night, the farmer feeling a little frisky, reaches over and gives his wife's breast a little feel and says,"Mother, if this could give milk, we could get rid of the cow." His hand then travels down to her crotch, and he says, "Mother, if this could give eggs, we could get rid of the chickens." His wife then reaches over and grabs his penis. "Father, if this could stay hard, we could get rid of your brother. Send this joke to a friend 3 A guy is stranded on an island with only a Doberman and a pig for company. There's plenty of food and water, and the weather is beautiful, so he's doing alright--but after a few months he gets "lonely", if you know what I mean. The pig starts to look more and more attractive--soft, pink flesh, round buttocks, etc. But every time this poor guy makes an advance towards the pig, the Doberman snarls at him and once almost bit his leg. One day the guy sees a speck on the horizon, so he swims out there and it turns out to be a dinghy, cast adrift, and in the bottom of the boat is a beautiful woman, unconscious. He drags her to shore and brings her into his hut and slowly nurses her back to health. Finally she is well enough to walk and she says to him "Thank you, thank you for saving my life. I don't know how I can ever repay you. I'll do anything for you, anything, just name it." The guy thinks for a minute and says "Would you mind taking my dog for a walk?" Send this joke to a friend 4 A little boy walks up to his father and says, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?" Father responds, "well son, before or after sex?" Son, "Well, before?" Father, "picture a tulip with all the petals son." Son, "well what about after?" Father, "Picture a bull dog eating mayonnaise!" Send this joke to a friend 5
