Once upon a time a man was walking down the street. He saw an ancient oil lamp in an ash can and, thinking of the Aladdin legend, he picked up and rubbed it. Sure enough, out popped a genie. "Master, I shall now grant you one wish." The man spoke, his eyes bulging with desire. "I wanna be rock hard and get plenty of ass for the rest of my life!" The genie obediently turned him into a toilet. Send this joke to a friend 1 What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders. Send this joke to a friend 2 Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said, "Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was open. So, he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back into his office. "By the way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?" "Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags." Send this joke to a friend 3 New scientific theories 4th RunnerUp-- The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast. Send this joke to a friend 4 New scientific theories 3rd RunnerUp- Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet. The lack of an alphabet means the Chinese cannot use "acronyms"; thus, they cannot communicate their ideas at a faster rate. Send this joke to a friend 5