There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all, 
And now he's a college professor.



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1 


There once was a lady, Ilene,
Who liver on distilled kerosene,
But she started absorbin'
A new hydrocarbon
and since then she'd never benzene



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2 


There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.



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3 


There was an old man of Philly,
Who was hooked on the movie Free Willy.
He quit his job at the jail,
for a dolphin and whale,
And so was the life of Wee Willy.



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4 


A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed



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5