There was a young laundress of Lamas 
               Who invented high amorous dramas 
                    For the spots she espied 
                    Dried and hardened inside 
               The pants of the parson's pajamas. 



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1 



               A young wife in the outskirts of Tass 
               Preferred frigging to going to mass. 
                    Said her husband, "Take Jacques, 
                    Or any young cock, 
               For I cannot live up to your ass." 



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2 



               A vice both obscene and unsavory 
               Holds the Mayor of Southhampton in slavery. 
                    With bloodcurdling howls 
                    He deflowers young owls 
               Which he keeps in an underground aviary. 



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3 



               Winter is here with his grouch, 
               The time when you sneeze and slouch. 
                    You can't take your women 
                    Canoein' or swimmin', 
               But a lot can be done on a couch. 



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4 



               Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes, 
               Afflicted with psychotic warps. 
                    His idea of fun 
                    Is to bugger a nun, 
               And then vomit all over the corpse. 



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5