How are women like elevators? Only about half go down. Send this joke to a friend 1 A somewhat drunk man feels a bald man's head and says, "Say, your head feels just like my wife's ass." The bald man feels his own head and says with a grin, "You know, you're right!" Send this joke to a friend 2 The Teacher tells the class they are going to play a game, she will describe an object and the students will tell her what she had described. Teacher: "The first object is Red, Round, and has a stem." Timmy: " I know what it is, it's an apple." Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." "OK the next item is round, has a peel, and you eat it." Christopher: "I know what it is, it's an orange." Teacher: "That's right, I like the way you're thinking." Johnny: "Can I try, Teacher?" Teacher: "Yes Johnny, but, Keep it clean!" Johnny sticks his hands in his pockets and feels around for a second, and says "My object is round, hard, and has a head on it." Teacher: "Alright Johnny, go to the office!" Johnny: "No Teacher, it's a quarter, but, I like the way you're thinking!" Send this joke to a friend 3 Do you know why single women can't fart? Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married. Send this joke to a friend 4 The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company." "That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be counseling the big bosses on relations with their secretaries?" "I'm not sure yet," he answered. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know." Send this joke to a friend 5