Men are like...

Men are like animals: messy, insensitive and
potentially violent, but they make great pets. 



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1 


There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men:

"don't" and "stop". 



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2 


There was this boy in high school that was what you would
consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement
of his home and one night he came up and said "Dad look
what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of
soil and instantly grass started to grow.

Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked
his son if he can make something to make his penis grow.

His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then
dad would have to buy him a convertable.

Dad agreed. 

The next night the son came out of the basement and gave his
dad a vial. The next morning his father came to him and told
him that he had something to show him. They went to the front
yard and the boy saw a cherry red ferrari.

The son looked at his dad and said "I only asked for a convertable."

The dad replied "the convertable is in the garage. The Ferrari is
from your mother." 



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3 


There was a drunk man walking down the street turning
his car keys back and forth. 
A policeman came up to him and asked, "Sir, what are you doing?" 
The drunk replied, "I am looking for my car, the last time I saw
it, it was on the end of these keys." 
The police officer said, "Sir, do you know your zipper is down?" 
The drunk replied, "Shit, I lost my wife, too!" 



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4 


What's the difference between women and men? 

     One has morning sickness, the other has morning stiffness. 



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5