I think my wife is getting a little nearsighted.
I woke up this morning, she was sucking on the bedpost.



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1 


We've been married a little over four years, and we just celebrated our "Wooden Anniversary."
Yeah, I asked my wife to blow me, and she wouldn't.



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2 


This girl I know told me she was so horny her own tongue's starting to feel good in her mouth.



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3 


A middle-aged Jewish guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. 
He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"
She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."



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4 


You know what that little red dot means in the middle of an Indian woman's forehead? 
............................"Coffee's ready."



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5