What's the difference between mayonaise and sperm? Mayonaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph. Send this joke to a friend 1 Did you hear about Tempura House? It's a shelter for lightly battered women. Send this joke to a friend 2 A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from a small cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider. "Why do you want cider?" asked Mom. "To take the pain away," sobbed the little girl. Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass. The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink. "It doesn't work!" she yelled. "What do you mean?" asked Mom. "Well," sniffed the little girl, "I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider." Send this joke to a friend 3 The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" yelled the husband. "In bed," she explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it's my turn." Send this joke to a friend 4 Two fags are on a picnic,and the first guy says,"I have to take a dumpski,"and he walks into the woods to do it. Several minutes later,the other guy hears the first guy crying "Boo Hoo,I Had A Miscarriage.I Had A Miscarriage." He runs into the woods to see what is going on. When he gets there,the first guy is still crying,"Boo-Hoo I Had A Miscarriage... He looks down and says,"Don't be silly.You didn't have a miscarraige.You had diarrhea on a toad." Send this joke to a friend 5