A man went to his dentist because he feels something
wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says,
"that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is
eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "all
I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made
some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was
delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put
it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem.
Hollindaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is
highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make
you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why
chrome?" asks the patient. 

To which the dentist replies,
"It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like
chrome for the Hollandaise!"



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1 


What is green, has four legs and smells like woman?

The white house's pool table



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2 



Little Joey and Little Danny, both aged 5, are walking home from
school. 

 Danny says "I won't be going to school tomorrow." 

"Why not?" asks Joey. 

"I have to go to the hospital," says Danny woefully. 

"That's awful," says Joey. "Why do you have to go there? Are you
sick?" 

Danny shakes his head and replies, "I have to have a circumcision." 

Joey stops dead in his tracks, an expression of complete horror across
his face, "That's Horrible!" he cries, "Why, I had that done when I was
born, and I couldn't walk for MONTHS!!"



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3 


A Chinese man is making love to his wife.  He whispers in her ear,
"Baby, I wanna' 69!"

She gives him a strange look and replies, 
"You want Beef and Broccoli NOW?"



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4 


A man walks into a shoe store... 
 ...and tries on a pair of shoes. 
 "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk. 
"Well ... they feel a bit tight." replies the man. 
The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the
mans feet. 
"Try pulling the tongue out." offers the clerk. 
Nath theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." He says.



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5