A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear. "What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor. The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly." Send this joke to a friend 1 On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "my dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture." Puzzled she asks, "MY picture?" He answers, "yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever". She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "why do you wear a robe? We are married now." at that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks, "why?" She answers, "SO I CAN GET IT ENLARGED"! Send this joke to a friend 2 "Mom, I'm pregnant." "How can that be? What did I tell you about sex?" "That I should take measures. That's what I did! I took measures and then went with the biggest." Send this joke to a friend 3 "Do you have any batteries?" a woman asks the hardware store clerk. "Yes, m'am." The clerk gestures with his finger. "Can you come this way?" "If I could come that way," the woman says, "I wouldn't need the batteries." Send this joke to a friend 4 Crazy Sally went to her gynecologist when she got her vibrator stuck inside of her. "To remove that vibrator," said the doctor, "I'm going to have to perform a very long and delicate operation." "I don't think I can afford that," said Sally. "Could you just replace the batteries?" Send this joke to a friend 5
