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Today's stories[10.25.02]

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Sam told me about the accident he was trying to find out about: Me: So I heard about some car accident this morning. Friend: Yeah, it was Sam, he got hit by a car on the way to school. Me: Oh my God, is he alright? Friend: I don't think so, they took him to the hospital. Me: ICU? (intensive care unit) Friend (quite serious): I see you too, but this is no time to play peekaboo.
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Some years back my live-in girlfriend (and now wife) came home while I was napping on the living room couch. I was still half asleep when she leaned over me to try and get a kiss. I wanted to say "don't get your hopes up" but then thought maybe "don't jump the gun" would be better. In my half-awake state it came out "Don't get your guns up."
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Taking a medical history is an experience: The MD, taking a sex-behavior history asked: "How many orgasms did you have last week?" The answer: "Counting masturbatory ones and wet dreams?"
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