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Today's stories[10.2.02]

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IQ wanted me to know there's more than one "Judi" out there. Her husband's secretary (Edna) one time shredded her (Edna) own paycheck. Then she booked her boss on a flight and said, "I even got you a window seat because I know how you like to smoke."
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The two butchers were brought into the emergency room. They both had their left hands bandaged. "What happened?" I asked the first one. "I was cutting some meat when the cleaver slipped and cut my hand." I asked the other one how he had been injured. "Oh, I was showing the other guys what *this* guy was doing and I did the same thing."
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Listen about that guy who was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that." The guy said, "Officer, I have *contacts*." The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don't care *who* you know -- I'm giving you a ticket."
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