"WARNING: sending me junk-email will be interpreted as granting permission to
 bomb your offices and machine-gun your children."
                        -- Simon Slavin, in alt.sysadmin.recovery




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1 


"The top ten reasons why masturbation is better than sex:

10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
1."
                        -- unknown




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2 


"We're the best Internet provider in Adelaide... [rest of pitch removed]"
"Well we're _also_ the best Internet provider in Adelaide..."
                        -- Bruce Lim (Camtech), Simon Hackett (Internode)




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3 


"What are you clearing your throat for?"
"Practice."
                        -- tanya, Alasdair




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4 


"Conspiracies abound:  If everyone's against you, the reason can't _possibly_
 be that you're a fuckhead."
                        -- The Usenet Guide to Power Posting




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5