There once was a man from Sydney Who stuck it in up to her kidney But a man from Quebec Got it up to her neck He had a big one didn't he! Send this poem to a friend 1 I'LL KEEP YOUR CLOTHES At first when we were dating You would bring a rose And as a ritual of mating Leave behind some clothes It seemed a cute formality it put me in love's throws It had a wondrous quality "Yeah! I'll keep your clothes." You'd leave sexy underwear The type that made you strut and pose You'd toss them in my corner chair I teased, "I'll keep your clothes" Then there came some rainy washes and some days of heavy snows You'd leave raincoats and galoshes I said, "Sure. I'll keep your clothes" Add T-shirts with a beer slogan or an alien head that glows or a samurai from Shogun I said, "OK...I'll keep your clothes" I left you little notes "Hey, my closet overflows" "I've boxed up all my coats!" But, still, I keep your clothes One day you showed up with a wagon And a couple of cheap ho's You said, "Baby, I'm baggin'" I said, "Oh, yeah? I'll keep your clothes" You really blew your stack You said, "Hey! This really blows! What are you? On crack?" I just said, "I'll keep your clothes" You cried, "What am I to wear?" I said, "Who cares? Who knows? You've been a sorry ass affair. At least I'll keep your clothes" The underwear so fine I'll hold for other joes The jeans that are now mine They'll fit. I'll keep your clothes. The shirts that look like bags The socks with ripped up toes I'll use them up as rags What fun to keep your clothes! So, be nice to your ex-girlfriends Watch where you put your nose And be kind when the love ends Or else, we'll keep your clothes From the book: THE LOVE POEMS OF THE FEMINIST FROM THE DARKSIDE by Fembah Copyright 2000 Send this poem to a friend 2 Goodbye Goodbye, you see its time for me to die It’s really been fun living in hell And I’m sure it’s beginning to tell; People are already saying God bless, Its time this weary head was put to rest. What is as versatile as a University? Where the social life is a necessity And the girls are all after the looks Rather than what you can do with the books But does the intention ever justify the end. Still there are good things with life Shame they are all double edged knifes For the weapon is not fit as a sword, For all we do with vast sums, is hoard Money it seems will drive us to death. But what are our best days I am told It is question that is not quite so bold For it is something that we all hold the key Before that is when we cease to see School and childhood is the answer. We choose to forget those days As it was all just a dizzy haze It is childish and stupid we are told But it’s the most valuable that we hold Reminding ourselves of what was in front. People you see, always see behind From figures to stats which seem to bind. Important we feel they may be But it’s more relaxing just to sip tea And try to grasp what our future holds. Goodbye, you see its time for me to die For what I’ve said could all be a lie But if that was true then why do I feel dread As I near my final challenge in facing death Does the intention ever justify the end. Sent by Justin Parker Send this poem to a friend 3 There once was a lady from Worcester, Who thought a man had seduced her. She woke up and screamed, It was only a dream, It was the bump on the matress that goosed her. Sent by Joey D. Send this poem to a friend 4 Hit By A Bus By Andy Christopfel Late God I'm late For today...today I have a date With my professor that is Gotta go Gotta run Gotta hurry, no time for fun shoot me kill me stab me with a knife School is much more important than this precious little life Whizzing past the students Running blindly pass the campus sights I take a step into the street and meet my creator's device Call me an idiot Call me a damn fool I did not do it in the name of love, Rather, in the name of school Pick up the telephone and call that paramedic... While you're at it, call my mommy too But now it's too late, And there's nothing that you can do I can't even speak, scream, yell or cuss Oh my God! Oh my God! I've been HIT BY A BUS Sent by andrew christopfel Send this poem to a friend 5
