There was a young man named Lanny
The size of whose prick was uncanny.
His wife, the poor dear,
Took it in her ear
And it came out the hole in her fanny. 



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1 


There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who always was jerkin his gerkin.
His wife said, "Now Perkin,
Stop jerking your gerkin,
You're shirking your firking, you bastard." 



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2 


An old maiden who barely did kissing,
Soon discovered what she had been missing.
When laid down on the sod,
She cried out, "Oh, God!
All these years I just used it for pissing!" 



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3 


A fair haired young damsel named Grace
Thought it very foolish to place
Her hand on your cock
When it turned hard as rock
For fear it would explode in her face. 



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4 


There was a young woman of Croft
Who played with herself in a loft.
Having reasoned that candles
Could never cause scandals,
Besides which they did not go soft. 



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5