The Mortitian arrived at the Mortuary one morning and was aproached by his assistant. "Anything interesting happen over-night", asked the mortitian. "Yes", replied the assistant, "The most gorgeous 18 year-old blond came in last night. Dead of course" "What was the cause of death", enquired the mortition. "I'm not sure",replied the assistant. "But she's got a Prawn stuck up her cunt!" "Are you sure?", said the Mortitian. "Yes, come and have a look for yourself" ,said the assistant opening the body bag. The mortitian closely examined the beautifuly trimmed snatch. "That's not a prawn you stupid wanker", he responded, "That's her clitoris" "Are you sure?", said the assisitant, "'Cuz it certainly tasted like a prawn". Send this joke to a friend 1 One day a lady went to the doctor's office and told the doctor that her husband wasn't interested in her any more he just wouldn't have sex with her anymore. So the doctor went into the back of the shop and got a bottle of 100 pills. He told her that "if you give your husband one of these pills then he would have sex with you." So she bought the pills and took them home. She put one in his dinner and he ate it. They had sex till midnight. The next day she thought it was so good that she wanted some more. so she put two in his dinner and they had sex till twelve noon the next day. She thought it was so good that she put all of the pills in his dinner and he ate it. Three weeks later a little kid was outside screaming and a guy walked up to him and asked him what was wrong. The little kid said, "My mom is dead, my sister is pregnant, my asshole hurts and my dad is in there on the floor saying, 'here kitty kitty kitty...'" Send this joke to a friend 2 What did the boy with a long tongue and big lips say to his mom as he was masturbating? "look Ma', no hands" Send this joke to a friend 3 What is the Definition of Agony? Pamela Anderson says to you "I'll fuck you for a week non stop for one dollar and you have only got 95 cents! Send this joke to a friend 4 Two GI's in the Vietnam war have been stuck in a trench for three days when one needs a shit. "I can't go in here" he says" It's really going to stink" "There's another trench over there" says the other. "I'll cover you with the M60.... just give me a shout and and i'll cover you so you can get back" "OK" so the GI runs across while the other fires off the machine gun. He's waiting 10 minutes......15.......20.... he shouts out "Are you Ok?".....nothing. Over an hour later he hears his mate shouting. "Cover me i`m coming back" When he jumps back in, his mate says "Where the fuck have you been? you've been gone for over an hour" "Yeah, I know. There's a girl in there, I played with her tits,fondled her arse,turned her round and fucked her from behind!" "It was great!" "You lucky Bastard" said the other "did you get a blow job?" "nah" said the other,disappointedly" she didn't have a head" Send by Rob Rowell Send this joke to a friend 5
