This man got his prescription for Viagra, and goes home to get 
ready for when his wife gets home. He calls her on the phone, 
and says, "I'll be home in an hour." 

"Perfect," she replies.

The man thinks her agreement is because the Doctor told him 
to take his Viagra an hour before. He takes the Viagra and 
waits. Well, and hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no 
wife? 

She calls him on the phone and she says, "Traffic is terrible. I 
won't be there for about an hour and a half." 

The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice. "What should I 
do?" he asks. 

The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you 
have a housekeeper around?" 

"Yes" the man replied. 

"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said 
the Doctor. 

The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra 
with the housekeeper..."



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1 


A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little 
sister pulled his hair.

"Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't 
realize that pulling hair hurts."

A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to 
investigate.

This time the sister is bawling and her brother says...

"Now she knows."



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2 


A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While 
the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on 
his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even 
looked twice at a church.

However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job 
and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-
natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his 
wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his 
kids wouldn't give him the time of the day.

So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes 
towards heaven and asked:

"Oh God, I honour you every day, I ask your advice for every 
problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, 
who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, 
seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and
suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"

And a great voice was heard from above:

"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"



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3 


A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely 
active sex life.  He said He had a wife, several mistresses, 
masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time.  

The doctor asked which he liked best.

He Replied, " Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of 
people in them."



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4 


What is Pink and Red and sits in a corner? 

     A baby with a razor blade. 



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5