Some women are gathered and the subject of conversation 
turns to sex and then birth control. The first woman says 
"We're Catholic so we can't use it."

The next woman says "I am too but we use the rhythm 
method."

The third woman says "We use the bucket and saucer 
method."

"What the heck is the bucket and saucer method?", the others 
ask.

"Well, I'm five foot eleven... and my husband is five foot two. We 
make love standing up with him standing on a bucket, and 
when his eyes get big as saucers I kick the bucket out from 
under him."



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1 


Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his
left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache
and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour
later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms.

"I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms."

"Yeah, I went to a dozen drug stores, but have you ever
tried asking for aspirin with a tic in your eye?" 



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2 


How do faggots get a condom off? 

     They fart. 



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3 


Hillary and Chelsea were having a deep dish heart
to heart talk about Chelsea's college experiences. 

Hillary:  So have you found dating to be fullflling
          experience? 

Chelsea:  It's okay..but i don't like how the boys
          sometimes act like real sex hounds. 

Hillary:  Well, uh, have you, uh, actually had sex? 

Chelsea:  Well Mom, no, not IF you define sex the
          way Daddy does. 



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4 


At a government affair, the wives of four world
leaders are chatting about how people refer to a
penis in their countries.

The wife of Tony Blair says in England people
call it a gentleman, because  it stands up when
women are entering.

The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call
it a patriot, because you never know if it will
hit you on the front or on the back side.

The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a
curtain, because it goes down after the act.

With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says
in the USA you call it a rumor, because it
goes from mouth to mouth...

Sent by Igor



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5