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God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnibenevolent --
it says so right here in the label. If you have a mind
capable of believing all three of these divine attributes
simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you.
No checks, please. Cash, and in small bills.
- Lazarus Long
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1
The Universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind
- a pretty uncomfortable thought,
particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.
Woody Allen in Getting Even
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2
Your car has Dodge written on the front of it, do
you really need a horn?
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3
Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview
unless applying for the job of umpire.
- Dan Zevin
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4
Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words
"large" or "size" with "rear end." Never. Avoid the area
altogether. Trust me.
- Tim Allen
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5
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