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There was a young lady named Hatch
Who would always come through in a scratch.
If a guy wouldn't neck her,
She'd grab up his pecker
And shove the damn thing up her snatch.
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1
A seamstress at Epping-on-Tyne
Used to peddle her tail down the line.
She first got a crown,
But her prices went down---
Now she'll fit you for ten pence or nine.
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2
A newlywed couple from Goshen
Spent their honeymoon sailing the ocean.
In twenty-eight days
They got laid eighty ways---
Imagine such fucking devotion.
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3
A widow whose singular vice
Was to keep her late husband on ice
Said, "It's been hard since I lost him---
I'll never defrost him!
Cold comfort, but cheap at the price,"
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4
Said an old taxidermist in Burrell,
As he skillfully mounted a squirrel,
"This excess of tail is
Obstructive to phallus;
One's much better off with a girl."
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5
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