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A maiden sat under a tree
And played with the lad's fiddle-dee,
His little wood post---
Soon her jewel is lost
From the casket where it used to be.
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1
There was a young Scot in Madrid
Who got fifty-five fucks for a quid.
When they said, "Are you faint?"
He replied, "No, I ain't,
But I don't feel as good as I did."
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2
The Rajah of Afghanistan
Imported a Birmingham can,
Which he set as a throne
On a great Buddha stone---
But he crapped out-of-doors like a man.
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3
If you're speaking of actions immoral
Then how about giving the laurel
To doughty Queen Esther,
No three men could best her---
One fore, one aft, and one oral.
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4
As His Holiness signed my petition
He said,"I take this position:
Here shines a clean mind,
For nowhere can I find
A single lubricious omission!"
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5
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