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Today's jokes[1.25.02]
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When the man first noticed that his penis was growing longer, he was
delighted. But several weeks and several inches later, he became concerned
and went to see a urologist. While his wife waited outside, the physician
examined him and explained that, thought rare his condition could be
corrected by minor surgery. The patient's wife anxiously rushed up to the
doctor after the examination and was told of the diagnosis and the need
for surgery.
"How long will he be on crutches?" she asked. "Crutches???" the doctor
asked "Well, yes," the woman said "You are going to lengthen his legs,
aren't you?"
Send this joke to a friend 1 A guy is sitting at a bar and orders a drink. At the same time the TV go's
on and there is Bill Clinton about to give a speech. The man yells,
"There's a horses ass"
A guy gets up and punches him.. And the man left.. Then when Hilary
Clinton came on he said the same, "There's a horses ASS..."
He then got punched again.. So he says to the bartender, "What is this, a
Clinton country?" The bartender says "no, Horse country"
Send this joke to a friend 2 A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to
file her taxes. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask a
few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc.
and then asks, "What is your occupation?"
The woman replies, "I'm a whore."
The accountant balks and says, "No, no, no. That will never work. That is
much too crass. Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman, "Ok, I'm a prostitute."
"No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman states, "I'm a chicken
farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a
whore or a prostitute?"
"Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year."
Send this joke to a friend 3 A man complaining to a friend: "I had it all - money, a beautiful house,a
big car, the love of a beautiful woman ...then ... pow! ... it was all
gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"Ahhhh ... my wife found out ..."
Send this joke to a friend 4 Two men went to the desert for a vacation. They rented a camel and headed
out. Five days later they came back but without the camel. The man who had
rented them the camel was very upset and screamed, "Where is my camel?"
They replied, "Well, we were riding along when we kept hearing people say,
'Look at the two assholes on that camel!' So finally we got off to take a
look and the damn camel ran away!"
Send this joke to a friend 5