| Archives | Lists | Random | Register | Tell Joke | Links | About |
[an error occurred while processing this directive]
Vote for the joke that you really like by checking a box next to it. Then press the VOTE button to submit your votes.
Q: What's the ultimate rejection? A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
Send this joke to a friend
1
Johnny (age 8) comes into the house for dinner after playing outside all afternoon. His parents ask him what he did today. He says that he played baseball and then he proposed to Betty (age 7) the next door neighbor. They are going to get married. His parents think this is cute, and they don't want to make fun of Johnny so they ask Johnny him "How are you and Betty going to pay for the expenses of being married?" He replies "Well with the $1 I get each week from you and the $1 she gets from her Mom and Dad, we should do o.k." His father says "That's fine, but how will you pay the extra expenses if you and Betty have a baby?" Johnny answers "Well, so far, we've been lucky..."
Send this joke to a friend
2
One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Dave then asked who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." "Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line." replied the man.
Send this joke to a friend
3
First man: How'd you get that black eye? Second man: I called some woman a two-bit whore. First man: She punched you? Second man: Nope. She hit me with her bag of quarters.
Send this joke to a friend
4
A cop sees a car weaving all over the road and pulls it over. He walks up to the car and sees a nice-looking woman is driving and smells liquor on her breath. He says, "I'm going to have to give you the breathalyzer test to determine if you are under the influence of alcohol." She blows up the balloon and he walks over to the police car. After a couple of minutes comes back and says, "It looks like you've had a couple of stiff ones." She replies "You mean it shows that, too?"
Send this joke to a friend
5
| Today's Stories Today's Poems Today's Quotes |
| Jump to |