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Q: What do you get when you breed a Bulldog and a Shitzu together? A: Bullshit
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1
Two cab drivers met. "Hey," asked one, "what's the idea of painting one side of your cab red and the other side blue?" "Well," the other responded, "when I get into an accident, you should see how all the witnesses contradict each other."
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2
A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, "If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he's the one who shot it. Otherwise, he'll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it." The guy goes to his own blind. Ten minutes later, he hears his wife shooting from her blind nearby. He rushes over and finds her pointing her rifle at a cowboy who's hollering, "Awright, lady, awright--you can have the goddamn deer! Just lemme get my saddle off it!"
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3
"Hey, Pal", the irate druggist shouted, "Put that cigar out while you are in my store!" "I bought this cigar here!" claimed the Customer. "Big Deal!", said the Druggist. "We sell condoms too."
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4
I went past a plastic surgeon's shop the other day and saw Michael Jackson picking his nose.
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5
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