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Little Johnny catches his parents going at it. He says, "Hey Dad! What are you doin?" His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank." Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
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1
Q: What happened to the cheerleader when she did the splits? A: 20 class rings fell out.
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2
A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him. "Yes, please" she replied. "Tell him Mother didn't come after all."
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3
A horny young man went to a brothel... The lady at the counter asked him what his choice would be. The man wanted to know what was available. Madam, "On the first floor, we have the ex-models... they are all slinky and sexy... On the second floor, we have our ex-actresses...they are all buxom and beautiful... On the third floor, we have our ex-teachers.... they..." Man, "Say no more! Lead me to the third floor." Madam, "Are you sure... I'm surprised that you would prefer ex-teachers to ex-models and ex-actresses." Man, "It's obvious, ma'am, teachers always make you do a thing over and over again, until you're perfect at it."
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4
Moe: My wife converted me to religion. Joe: Really? Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.
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5
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