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Three altar boys are standing in the snow with their pants down around their ankles. They have their penis' in a snow bank. Sister Margaret sticks her head out the window and says, "Boys! Boys! Whatever are you doing... you're going to catch pneumonia. Put your penis' away." The tallest altar boy turns around and yells, "Sister Margaret, don't worry, we know what we're doing. Father Porter always likes a couple cold ones after work...."
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1
Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said, "Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, I just burped."
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2
A man was driving from New York to San Francisco. He got as far as Cleveland, when he realized he was getting terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute and took care of the problem. Immediately, a severe guilt reaction set in, so he went to confession. For penance, he was told to say 10,000 Hail Mary's. So he went on driving and praying. By the time he got through with the 10,000 Hail Mary's, he was approaching San Francisco. Suddenly he realized he was terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute, and had an orgy. Again there was a severe guilt reaction, so he went to confession. It was an old Irish priest who said, "For penance say three Hail Mary's". The man said, "What?? In Cleveland, I had to say 10,000 Hail Mary's for the same thing. Father replied quietly, "Sure now, and what would they know about fucking in Cleveland?".
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3
Q: Why did Mike Tyson learn to bite ears? A: How else do you tell a 275 pound inmate that "no means no"?
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4
At night court, a man was brought in and set before the judge. The judge said, "State your name, occupation, and the charge." The defendant said, "I'm Sparks, I'm an electrician, charged with battery." The judge winced and said, "Bailiff! Put this man in a dry cell!"
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5
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