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WHAT DO YOU CALL A BLONDE STANDING ON HER HEAD? A BRUNETTE WITH BAD BREATH! Sent by ÇãM
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1
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." The old man says without hesitation "I now pronounce you man and wife".
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2
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal." "No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
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3
What happens when a lawyer takes viagra? He gets taller!! Sent by Bill
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4
A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. After the editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word, she pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read 'Fred Brown died'." Confounded at the woman's thrift, the editor stammers that there is a 7-word minimum for all obituaries. The woman pauses again, counts on her fingers and replies, "In that case, 'Fred Brown died: 1983 Pick-up for sale'."
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5
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