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Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class,and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher. "Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the verandah. The neighbours' Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!", and before he could say "FUCK OFF!", the dog ate him!"
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1
Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. One fag turned to the other and said, "See that stud there, Bruce?" "Sure." "Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!" "No shit?" Bruce asked. "Well, hardly any."
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2
How do you tell two KKK members apart? Ask their wife. After all, she's their mother....
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3
My mother-in-law is like a fine French Impressionist painting. She's very lovely, but is best appreciated at a distance.
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4
Little Boy: What will communism be like when perfected? His Father: Everyone will have what he needs. LB: But what if there is a shortage of meat? HF: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
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5
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