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What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Cardiff (Wales)? A leisure centre.
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1
The Pope was working on a crossword puzzle. He thought and thought about one clue, finally gave up and asked the Cardinal next to him, "What's a four letter word, ending in U - N - T that means 'woman'?" The Cardinal was working on his own puzzle and didn't even bother to look up. "*A*unt, your Holiness." The Pope didn't speak for a second. "Oh." He paused. "Do you have an eraser?"
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2
At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?" "I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"
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3
This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and roomservice at a hotel in Asia. It was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review: Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees." Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service." RS : "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs." RS: "Ow July den?" G: "What??" RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine" RS: "Hokay. An San tos?" G: "What?" RS: "San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so" RS: "No? Judo one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means." RS: "Toes! toes!..Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side." RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS: "Copy...tea...mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" G: "Whatever you say." RS: "Tendjewberrymud" G : "You're welcome" Have a good day
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4
Jon was looking for a little "action". He picked up a sweet young thang at the bar and took her back to his hotel room. Little did he know she was damn near a nymphomaniac. After six times she was screaming for more. After the *eighth* time Jon told her that he needed to slip out for a pack of cigarettes. On the way out he stopped in the men's room. He stood in front of the urinal, unzipped, and felt a moment of panic that he couldn't find "it". After a couple of minutes "fishing around" he finally said, "Look, it's ok. She's not here!"
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5
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