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A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager." Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?" "Sam," the man moaned. "Where ya from, Sam?" With pain in his voice Sam replied "the balcony." Sent by Zena
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1
Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. "Well, Doc," he inquired anxiously, "is he going to make it?" "It's tough," said the doctor. "He'd have a better chance if you hadn't gutted him first."
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2
Sobel goes into the optometrist's office. He opens the door and says to the receptionist, "I think I need my eyes checked." She says, "You're not kidding. This is the Ladies Room."
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3
My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm. The Dr said "which position do you use?" "Doggy style," said dumb shit. "why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see if that works any better." said the Dr. "We've tryed that" he said, "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"
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4
A young boy came home from school and told his mother, "I had a big fight with Sidney. He called me a sissy." "What did you do?" the mother asked. "I hit him with my purse!"
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5
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