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Today's jokes[8.16.01]

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Lesbians can also take Viagra. 
They don't have to swalow it, they just let it melt in their tongues. 



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1
This elderly woman passed a police van loading up the girls from a local brothel, and as she passed by, she asked one girl what the lineup was for. the girl shrugged and said, jokingly, "cough drops" and snickered. Just then the cop approached the old gal and said, "What are you doing here, m'am?" The woman pulled herself up to her full height oF 4'4 and replied, "Well, I can suck em can't I?"
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2
Bob stood over his tee short on the 18th hole for what seemed like forever. He'd waggle, look down, look up, but never start his backswing. Finally David, his playing partner, asked, "Why on Earth are you taking so long to make this shot?" "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse, and I want to make this shot a good one," said Bob. "Good Lord," said David, "you haven't got a chance of hitting her from here."
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3
This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions." She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?" And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"
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4
The doctor comes out of the delivery room and says to the father, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Mr. Jones, but apparently your child was born with no arms, only one leg, and teeth that project six inches out of its mouth." Mr. Jones cries, "My God! What will we do with such a deformed baby?" The doctor says, "Use it as a rake?"
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5

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