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"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
considering if there is a man on base."
- Dave Barry
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1
"The problem with the designated driver program,
it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get
sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the
end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
- Jeff Foxworthy
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2
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to
find a woman I don't like and just give her a house,"
- Lewis Grizzard
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3
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?
There's a support group for that. It's called
EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
- Drew Carey
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4
"Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone, but when
she got there the cupboard was bare so THE POOR MONGREL STARVED TO DEATH!!"
-- Flacco, "DAAS Kapital"
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5
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