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A damsel who lives at the Springs
Had her maidenhead ripped into strings
By a hideous Kurd,
And now, she averred,
"When the wind blows through it, it sings."
Send this poem to a friend 1 A horrid old lady of Summit,
Every time she got laid had to vomit,
And although she would groan
When her man got a bone,
"Give it here," she would say, "and I'll gum it!"
Send this poem to a friend 2
A patrician young fellow named Lear
Used to wash off his bollocks with beer.
Said he, "By the gods,
This is good for the cods---
It will lengthen my fucking career.
Send this poem to a friend 3
There once was a writer named Twain
Who had a peculiar stain
Surrounding the head
Of his prick: it was red,
And was said to wash off in the rain.
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There was a young man from Jodhpur
Who found he could easily cure
His dread diabetes
By eating a fetus
Served up in a sauce of manure.
Send this poem to a friend 5