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Winter is here with his grouch,
The time when you sneeze and slouch.
You can't take your women
Canoein' or swimmin',
But a lot can be done on a couch.
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1
Meet Elmer, young son of the Thorpes,
Afflicted with psychotic warps.
His idea of fun
Is to bugger a nun,
And then vomit all over the corpse.
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2
There was a young girl from Peru
Who badly wanted to screw.
She tried a broom-handle
And the end of a candle,
But threw them away for a Jew.
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3
A pathetic appellant at Reno
Was as chaste as the holy Bambino,
For she'd married a slicker
Who stuck to his liquor
And scorned her ripe maraschino
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4
There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin.
His wife said, "Now, Perkin,
Stop jerkin' your gherkin:
You're shirkin' your ferkin'---you bastard!"
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5
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