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An innocent boy in Lapland
Was told that friggin' was grand.
But at his first trial
He said with a smile,
"I've had the same feeling by hand."
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1
A certain professor named Yarrow
Had trouble seducing a sparrow.
When he'd given up hopin'
He pried her jaws open,
And filled up her bill with his marrow.
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2
There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial,
Because when out wooing
Whatever he was doing
At ten he'd insert his commercial.
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3
There once was a young man named Lanny
The size of whose prick was uncanny.
His wife, the poor dear,
Took it into her ear,
And it came out the hole in her fanny.
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4
A Chinaman hailing from Woozee
Once laid an American floozie.
"How different," he cried,
As he slid it inside,
"To diddle a vertical coozie!"
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5
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