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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover? A rash of good luck.
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1
Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit to a sex shop for a remedy. The clerk hands him a little purple can and says, "This is Stay-Hard spray... put on a little and you can go all night!" Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a shelf, and waits eagerly for bedtime. Later that night, he sprays some on his member and then goes upstairs to his wife. To his utter disappointment, however, the remedy seems to make him orgasm quicker than ever. The next day, Sidney returns to the sex shop, angrily slammed the can down on the counter, and snaps, "This stuff makes me worse than before!" Upon reading the label, the clerk asks, "I don't suppose your hid this stuff on your basement shelf, did you?" "Yeah, so?" "You must have grabbed the wrong can, sir... this is Easy-Off."
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2
What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit? Bugs Bunny.
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3
The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "you wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?" "No," her husband replied. "Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver."
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4
How do you make a hot dog stand? Steal its chair.
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5
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