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A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."
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1
What is the difference between a hockey game and a High School reunion? At a hockey game you see fast pucks.
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2
A profoundly ugly girl went to the psychiatrist. "My life is a mess, doctor," she began, "I am so fucking hideous that no one will associate with me, touch me, or even talk to me. Can you help?" "Why, certainly! Helping people feel much better about themselves is my area of expertise. I can start making you feel more confident about your appearance right here and now." "Oh, I am so grateful! What should I do first?" she asked. "First things first. Just walk over to the other side of the room and lie face down on my couch."
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3
What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil? The white one got away.
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4
A guy was trying to console a friend who'd just found his wife in bed with another man. "Get over it, buddy," he said. "It's not the end of the world." "It's all right for you to say," answered his buddy. "But what if you came home one night and caught another man in bed with your wife?" The fella ponders for a moment, then says, "I'd break his cane and kick his seeing-eye dog in the ass."
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5
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