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The new Vicar was up early one Sunday morning, walking round his new parish, after leaving his wife in bed with the Sunday papers, her cup of tea, and a pack of cigarettes. One of the old villagers came up to him and said. "Good morning Vicar, how be you and the wife?" The Vicar said, "Good morning my man, I am fine, the wife is fine also as I left her in bed smoking." The villager said, "Arr, Vicar, that's the way to fuck 'em!"
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1
On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?" "Absolutely not!" replied the pastor. "In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July."
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2
How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat? When she sits on your face and you can't hear the stereo
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3
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Four. Actually, only one to screw it in. The other 3 are there to listen to him brag about the screwing part!
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4
What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop? An Amish drive-by shooting.
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5
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