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Taking a medical history is an experience: The MD, taking a sex-behavior history asked: "How many orgasms did you have last week?" The answer: "Counting masturbatory ones and wet dreams?"
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My wife used to have the habit of disbelieving something with the phrase "my ass!" She would say "Four hundred dollars, my ass!" or "30 minutes late, my ass!" One day a friend of mine and I were having a conversation, which she was listening to, and I said something like "...so it would be easy to penetrate.." She chimed in... "Penetrate my ass!" My friend and I laughed so long and hard we forgot what we were even talking about! Needless to say, she doesn't say "my ass!" any more.
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Brian received a phone call: "HI, I'm phoning on behalf of the ????? Children's Workshop where we can help you with special offers, ....etc" I interrupted her and informed her that I didn't have any children. "Do you have any grandchildren???", she then asked.
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