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The was a young man from Dundee, Who was stung on the neck by a wasp. When asked "did it hurt", He said "No, not a bit, It can do it again if it wants."
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When Lady Penelope swoons, Her tits pop out like balloons. Parker stands by, With a gleam in his eye, And pops them back in with warm spoons.
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Redneck family tree Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother. Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She's my grandmother too. If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild. For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!
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Mary had a little sheep, And with the sheep she went to sleep, The sheep turned out to be a ram, Now Mary has a little lamb.
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The Very Very Untitled Poem To you I write this poem of nonsense My back is aching, my shoulders, tense My R.S.I. is D.O.A. Q.E.D. I.Q. O.K. My temper frayed, about to snap I am the king of talking crap I try to do the best I can I`m worse than David Letterman! I watch TV to ease the friction Of this internet addiction But to my dismay, I find I cannot leave the net behind The world wide web calls to me Like a mermaid siren in the cyber-sea. Like watching "Twin Peaks", I`ve lost the plot I`ve been writing for weeks and this is all I got. With liquid refreshment as my inspiration Just cider that`s been through refrigeration Talkin` `bout my generation. Pen to paper. Fingers on the keyboard. Makes no difference. I`m still bored. Light goes on if you pull the cord Which payment plan can I afford? Eat ice cream with some toffee fudge "Robot" is the Czech word for "drudge". I, robot. I scream! Never mind. It doesn`t matter I eat and drink and just get fatter Excuse my ramblings. Now, I`ll cease. And leave you lot in peace ;~) © 1999 Peter Hughes Sent by Pete Hughes
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