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A man was complaining to a friend. "I had it all. Money, a beautiful house, a BIG car, the love of a beautiful woman, then, POW! it was all gone!" "What happened?" asked the friend. "My wife found out."
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1
Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet.
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2
One day a housewife was going about the usual business of cleaning the house, when she suddenly felt intensely horny. Unfortunately, her husband was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes and started to masturbate. She got very excited, rubbing herself and moaning, and when her husband walked in, she was writhing in the middle of the living room floor. He glanced through the mail and said to his wife, "Honey, when you're finished vacuuming the floor, could you get started on dinner?"
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3
A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt. He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged. "Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist. "No," she said, not until recently. "I've been fucking a lot doggie style." "Well," said the podiatrist, "you are going to have to stop." "I can't," she replied, "that's the only way my German Shepherd fucks."
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4
What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.
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5
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