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If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? Not if it lands on a bunch of pillows.
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1
How do I know anything really exists? Kick it *really* hard.
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2
Dear John, I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you fogive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you. All my love, Belinda. PS Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.
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3
Mr. Dewey was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense. "You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?" The client replied that he did. The lawyer then asked, "Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?" The client looked back and said, "I imagine that our side will win."
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4
A customer walks into a restaurant and notices a large sign on the wall that says, "$500 if we fail to fill your order." When his waitress arrives, he orders elephant tail on rye. She calmly writes down his order and walks into the kitchen. Almost immediately he hears an explosion of voices. The restaurant owner comes storming out of the kitchen and up to the customer's table. He slaps down five $100 bills in front of the man. "You got me this time, buddy," he says, "but I want you to know this -- that's the first time in 10 years we've been out of rye bread."
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5
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